an important question: mackenzie richmond

a real life earth angel

an important question will be an on-going series of asking the questions that get to the heart of it all. this series is inspired by durga chew bose’s interview, time will tell, with dev hynes where her nostalgic and candid questions touch on the small moments of being human that we all share. i was incredibly touched by people’s responses to these very personal questions and i hope you find something in these questions and answers that make you feel less alone, inspired and comforted that gently, we exist.

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a couple years ago, i was lucky enough to meet mackenzie for the first time over breakfast at destroyer. we sat and talked and ate and taste tested oishi berries together. i was so taken aback by how warm and welcoming she was, like the truest beam of sunlight. there were no pretenses with her, everything from the way she immediately greeted me with a big hug to our conversations about love and food and everything in between felt so genuine and true. the way she navigates food, her own cooking and how she cares for others reflects that. i’m grateful mackenzie took the time to share her thoughts on what makes home feel like home, what no longer impresses her and what a ‘miracle’ means to her.

you can find mackenzie here and here.

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What does it mean to feel like a kid again? Feeling like a kid again feels like embracing the world with an open heart, playing shamelessly, being yourself without a care in the world.

What makes your home feel like your home? My home feels like mine because it smells like sandalwood incense and palo santo, my side table has a tall stack of books currently being read along with a day-old cup of tea (hopefully sitting on a coaster), my pantry is stocked with at least two different honeys, my skincare is sitting on the bathroom counter, there's a pile of clean clothes next to my bed, and at the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy - my heart is there.

What did your bedroom look like as a teenager? My teenage bedroom was covered in posters - the pink floyd catalog poster of backs/butts, a clockwork orange, trainspotting, an old french film that I saw one time. My bedding was from Urban Outfitters, it was a soft yellow with poppies on it. I had a small wrought-iron eiffel tower sculpture of sorts sitting on my dresser, along with a himalayan salt lamp, a hello kitty bong, and a collection of crystals.

What could you learn from your younger self? I could learn to be more carefree, more unapologetically myself.

What would your younger self love about who you are now? I think she would love the life I (we?) created. The "job" (doesn't feel like a job really) I have, the healthy relationship I am in, my willingness to forgive.

What is something you wish younger you understood? I wish younger me understood that time and space is meaningful, and that impulsivity is not always the answer.

What word do you find powerful or meaningful? Beshert - a Yiddish word that means destiny. It can refer to soulmates but I like to use it to describe something kismet, synchronistic, meant-to-be.

Who has been kind to you when they didn’t have to be? The man I rear-ended in my early twenties. I had to put my dog down that day and I was crying, driving home at night in stop-and-go traffic on the 10. He got out of the car and the first thing he did was ask if I was okay. I told him my dog just died and that I was distracted driving and apologized in between sobs. He and his wife were on their way home from a funeral. He was really gentle and kind and patient, despite having his own emotion-filled day. It was a moment that gave me faith in humanity.

If you could say anything to anyone right now, what would it be? I would tell Ayo Edebiri I want to be friends!

What song plays inside your head when you’re feeling down?

The last stranger that made you smile. A barista who asked me how I was doing. It felt genuine.

If you could go back in time, would you? Absolutely not! The present is a present.

What is a piece of advice you’ve given that you should listen to for yourself? My first thought was "If someone shows you who they are, believe them", but I don't think that is always the most sound piece of advice. I believe that people can change and evolve and putting a black and white belief onto another person can sell their ability to progress short. That being said, actions speak louder than words.

What no longer impresses you? Having staunch, unmoving opinions on things like art or movies or music.

If you could have one smell on your hands forever, what would it be and why? Swedish Dream Sea Salt hand creme. It smells so fresh and covers up the trace of garlic and onion that stain my fingers often.

What is art? Oh, what a question! Art is definitely subjective. I think art can be pretty much everything. Practice is art. Rituals are art. Nature is art. I think art is expressing or processing feelings into creation.

How do you celebrate your birthday? I shamelessly love my birthday. I usually spend my birthday surrounded by people I love, doing things I love, with delicious food and wine, and cake - it's not my birthday without cake.

Heartbreak or loss smells like: Burnt toast, salty air, cigars, a stale room, wet dirt on a hot day.

Childhood smells like: A donut shop, rubber handballs, freshly mowed grass, asphalt wet from rain, the Orlando airport.

What did you hate most as a child? I hated being away from my parents. I'd get homesick at sleepovers.

If you had a child, what would you want them to know? Nothing is permanent, you can always change your mind, kindness is a superpower.

What dish would you make for someone you care for? I would make someone I care for matzo ball soup, or brownies with homemade almond milk. Any dish that feels like a hug, really.

What article of clothing feels most like you? Overalls or a striped shirt.

What’s an act of humanity you witnessed that made you feel something? My friend Dylan flew to Cairo to bring mutual aid and assistance to displaced Gazans in Egypt. Her activism inspires me so much and makes me feel hopeful. Whether bringing families with infants formula and diapers, funding treatments to cancer patients, or providing shoes for a family, she works tirelessly. Her instagram is here.

What age do you never want to be again? 14

What do you wish you could experience again for the first time? I wish I could experience the magic of Disneyland again for the first time. It felt so real and magical as a child. Now I know too much to enjoy it the same way, but I still love the way the air smells and the way the music playing throughout makes me feel there.

What color describes you? Cherry red

What color describes your first love? Forest green

What do you miss? Being in the kitchen with my aunt.

What is your favorite part of loving someone? My favorite part of loving someone is taking care of them. I saw a quote today that said "taking care of people heals the part of you that needed someone to take care of you."

In what ways have you become more loving? By really listening and letting go of judgement, especially in moments of conflict.

What life do you hope parallel-life you is living? I hope she is homesteading, living life simply, potentially untethered to the productivity guilt of a capitalistic society, using her resources to help others, and maybe, just maybe performing at a local jazz club on the weekends.

What is a miracle? A miracle is sort of like beshert or kismet! It's magic, it's surprising, it's spectacular.

What feels freeing to you? The wind in my hair, going on a long walk, swimming in the ocean, taking myself out for a treat, taking a cold shower after sweating.

What do you trust will work out for you? I trust that the boundaries I set will work out for me, that the habits and discipline I enforce with myself will work out for me, that the friendships and relationships I cultivate will work out for me.

Is there a song I should listen to today? Sexy to Someone by Clairo (my current summer stroll song)

When sadness makes its presence known, how do you greet it? I love to cry, so I usually greet my sadness with tears. I fully lean in and listen to the songs and watch the movies that make me cry the hardest so I can really get all the tears out.

What do you see from your favorite window? I see lots of green. The window/balcony door in my dining room looks out to a giant, green hedge. I see morning doves, hummingbirds, and squirrels, too. And also my dog, Juniper, sitting in the sun.

What did you learn from your grandmother? I learned to rest when you're tired, and to eat (and really enjoy) the ice cream!

What have you taught yourself? I have taught myself how to be patient, how to live in the present, and how to cook, and to lean into learning.

What’s an object you possess that is precious to you? I have a small framed photo of my parents when they were first together, smiling and in love. I never had the chance to see them in that way, so I like having a snapshot that captured their joy. And I see myself in them.

How do you show your love? I show love to someone by making them a meal, texting or calling them when I am thinking of them, rubbing their back.

What was the last wish you made? I don't make many wishes these days, I think about the things I have and am grateful for instead.

What do you no longer regret? I no longer regret the way I showed up for someone who didn't show up for me.

Did you pass notes in high school? Not really, but I definitely texted under the desk.

Walk me through a perfect day: A perfect day for me would consist of waking up without an alarm, making a cup of tea and a big plate of pancakes, taking my dog on a long walk around the neighborhood, going to a yoga class with a friend, taking a nap, then making a lush picnic to take to the beach for sunset.

How do you know when you are in love? I know when I am in love when my heart twinges when I'm not with them.

What do you find overrated? I find most places with long lines overrated.

What are your favorite kind of gifts to give? And to receive? My favorite kinds of gifts to give and to receive are homemade or handmade ones.

When was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach ached? When I was at one of my closest friends' bachelorette, half-watching Step Up 2 in the hotel room, eating takeout, laughing about Julia Stiles' audition scene in Save the Last Dance.

Biggest pet peeve. My biggest pet peeve is condescension.

What makes a perfect love song? A perfect love song has a fantastic melody, makes you want to dance (slow or fast), and words that stick with you.

What makes any day feel like a Saturday? Slowness, ease, bagels.

If you could go back in time, what time would you revisit in your life? If I had to, I would revisit being five years old to feel that wonder and discovery and excitement and silliness.

Where do you go from here? Forward.

Finish this sentence: to be loved is __________. to be cared for and thought of

Finish this sentence: something I’ve learned to love about myself is ________________. my passion, intensity and all

After you answer these questions, what will you do today? I will watch Freaky Friday while eating mushroom walnut bolognese I just made.