an important question will be an on-going series of asking the questions that get to the heart of it all. this series is inspired by durga chew bose’s interview, time will tell, with dev hynes where her honest and candid questions touch on the small moments of being human that we all share. i was incredibly touched by people’s responses to these very personal questions and i hope you find something in these questions and answers that make you feel less alone, inspired and comforted that gently, we exist.
editor’s note: i unintentionally put things paolo finds overrated and underrated in the same question. it has been corrected.
paolo cui is the founder and owner of idle worship, a san francisco brand built on craft and focused on pushing fabrics forward. i was first introduced to paolo’s work through my brother and very quickly, idle worship’s vibrantly colored hand dyed cotton socks became a staple in my wardrobe. he has since expanded to producing beautiful cowhide belts, leather wallets dyed with natural materials (like persimmon) and sashiko repaired vintage denim. i truly admire paolo and his work because his work is so clearly created from passion, incredible knowledge and intention while maintaining a sense of playfulness that i find so refreshing and cool.
you can find idle worship’s site here, instagram here, tiktok here, twitter here .
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when was the last time you fell asleep easily? last night, i had a long day.
what makes your home feel like your home? feeling weightless as soon as i cross the threshold.
what word do you find powerful or meaningful? discipline.
when was the last time you felt bliss? driving a motorbike in vietnam driving from da nang to hoi an. my lady’s arms on my shoulder, wind all up in my face as the sun set with the promise of really good banh mi at the destination.
if you could say anything to anyone right now, what would it be? discourse around tipping is so dumb because the loudest voices are of people who are privileged enough to not depend on a gratuity for their livelihood.
what is something you wish younger you understood?
-everything that you’re doing now is building the foundation for the man you’re going to become.
-learn from other peoples mistakes even if they don’t see it as such.
-perfection is a moving target.
what song plays inside your head when you’re feeling down? soooo angsty.
the last stranger that made you smile. me and shorty were on a walk when we hit an incline and noticed this old guy wheezing behind us. we said “yo are you good?” he replied, “i’m just old, this happens. thanks for checking up on me i might catch up to you at this rate.” while we were waiting at the light he walked up to us, shook our hands, and said “hey, i really appreciate you taking the care to do that” i told him we can race next time and he laughed and we both went about our days. i hope i still have a sense of humor if i get old.
if you could go back in time, would you? nah. time travel is my least favorite plot device. traveling back in time to change the present day would create an alternate reality that the one we live in, and if i’m going back to just spectate…well then what’s the point.
savor kindness because cruelty is always possible later, yes or no? sure.
the pursuit of true love is never exhausting, yes or no? if it’s the right person it’s never a chore.
pain is a signal, yes or no? you ever touch a hot pan twice?
if you could have one smell on your hands forever, what would it be and why? i like any hand cream that has citrus, idle worship has taken quite a toll on my hands and i like to take care of them when i remember to.
what ice cream flavor makes you feel like a kid again? any swirl combination frozen yogurt.
what is art? distilling the surrounding environment and personal experiences to give it form.
how do you celebrate your birthday? i gotta go outside; long ass hike or a bike ride, ideally both but thats asking for a lot. dinner from a hole in the wall restaurant that doesn’t take reservations and seeing my friends at a shitty dive bar after. preferably benders (it’s always benders).
heartbreak or loss smells like: smoke.
childhood smells like: fresh calamansi and cinnamon sugar pop tarts.
what did you hate most as a child? growing up quickly.
if you had a child, what would you want them to know? don’t trust anyone who brags about getting over on people. asking “how” and “why” will change your life. look people in the eyes when you talk to them. choose your words carefully and mean what you say. your compliments should be as good as your insults. and most importantly i’d want them to know that they’re loved by their parents and we’d do anything to make them happy.
what dish would you make for someone you care for? i make a mean ass ragu bolognese.
what article of clothing feels most like you? this sashiko vest i hand stitched. it’s an old carhartt vest from who knows when. i felt like pushing the limits of what i can do with sashiko so i decided to just stitch up the entire thing with my favorite pattern. it’s super loud but i’ve never seen anyone else be dumb enough to make something like this.
if you could speak to your 15-year-old self, what would you say? all those weird interests you have now that you think other people think are lame are going to pay your rent in the most beautiful city in the world one day lil man.
what’s an act of humanity you witnessed that made you feel something? shinsuke saved my life by honking at a car that was going to hit me in the crosswalk the other day.
what age do you never want to be again? every age i’ve ever been has contributed to who i am today, good and bad.
what color describes you? green.
what color describes your first love? purple.
what do you miss? i miss liking the holidays, my dog shadow, and being ignorant; knowledge is a burden.
what is your favorite part of loving someone? being loved back.
what is the most important thing life has taught you? everyone is just getting by one way or another.
what life do you hope parallel-life you is living? hope he’s happy.
what is a miracle? everything has an explanation.
what feels freeing to you? wiping the rust from the chain off my hands onto my pants every time i roll up the door to the studio.
in what ways have you become more loving? i’ve learned to be more empathetic and less self centered. younger me was a real fixer upper.
is there a song i should listen to today? on max volume.
when sadness makes its presence known, how do you greet it? i used to deny that i was sad and tried to drown it out through work or socializing but since so much of myself is in my work, i can tell when my mood seeps into what i’m making. the day my pre-frontal cortex locked into place i feel like i gained emotional maturity and learned how to compartmentalize my feelings. when i’m sad i like to do things that make me feel good which is usually taking a run up twin peaks and drinking a smoothie.
what do you see from your favorite window? sutro tower from my old kitchen window.
what did you learn from your grandmother? meals aren’t just about food.
what’s an object you possess that is precious to you? my lolo’s jade ring. it’s as much a part of my hand as any of my fingers.
how do you show your love? if i love you i’d do things for you that i wouldn’t do for myself.
what was the last wish you made? i pray twice a day, same thing.
how do you know when you are in love? i’ve been in love so long it’s hard to remember anything prior.
what do you find very overrated? spectacle, waiting in line, run clubs, any and all aggregator pages, minimalism, rimowa luggage, cocktail culture, cool guy shit, identifying as a “creative,” name dropping, fashion influencers who dont do their research, _____-core, expensive blank t-shirts, comfort food, spain (the country), chick fil-a, using the word “community” to create a monetized audience, half-assing anything, instagrammable restaurants.
what do you find underrated? ralph lauren visual merchandising, #real #craftsmanship, regionality, chinotto, public transportation, the burger at benders, collecting magazines, life is hell by matt groening, domestic travel, passion projects, gold jewelry, banter, carnitas tacos from el gallo giro, posting on instagram grid, talking loudly in restaurants, biking as a means of transporation, button fly jeans, suzuki trackers, hand painted signs, ebay, being a regular at establishments.
what are your favorite kind of gifts to give? and to receive? my favorite gifts to give are things that are useful. my favorite gifts to receive are things that people made and menthol cigarettes.
when was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach ached? i don’t remember but it was probably something really dumb.
biggest pet peeve. not respecting people’s time.
what makes a perfect love song? you gotta be buried-under-horny-jail horny to make even a good love song.
what makes any day feel like a saturday? an afternoon snack.
if you could go back in time, what time would you revisit in your life? i wouldn’t.
do you believe in timeless design when it comes to clothing? if so, why? if not, why? absolutely not. my favorite designs are timestamped and the coolest things about them are the context in which they exist. timelessness is just a marketing term to get you to buy into preppy every three years.
finish this sentence: to be loved is __________. being met where you are.
where do you go from here? i don’t like talking about anything unless it’s done but i just want to continue to make good work and be paid fairly for it.
after you answer these questions, what will you do today? get a run in, eat chicken adobo, buy some ben davis pants to wear to a wedding (hope the bride doesn’t see this), finish a patchwork project, work on the next iteration of idle worship, repair a pair of jeans, and maybe watch some dragon ball z if i have some time in between.
this was so fun thank u again ethaney 🫰
brother i got a pack of mevius with your name on it