an important question: sophia winnikoff

brand director of RLT

an important question will be an on-going series of asking the questions that get to the heart of it all. this series is inspired by durga chew bose’s interview, time will tell, with dev hynes where her nostalgic and candid questions touch on the small moments of being human that we all share. i was incredibly touched by people’s responses to these very personal questions and i hope you find something in these questions and answers that make you feel less alone, inspired and comforted that gently, we exist.

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sophia winnikoff is not only the brand director for shop rlt but they are also a baker of whimsical baked goods, a model, a curator of beautiful farmer’s market produce and a loving parent to their dog, kato. sophia’s ability to show tenderness and beauty in the moments of every day life is something i have always found very comforting and so genuine. social media can be a place where things feel contrived or overly curated but sophia’s social media presence has always been one that i look forward to seeing on my feed. it feels like a gift to be privy to the quiet scenes of their life.

you can find sophia here and here.

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when was the last time you fell asleep easily? falling asleep is a fickle friend for me. recently i’ve found it easier when reading [currently nearing the end of big swiss by jen beagin]. i’m the type who usually needs a whole routine, including sleepy time tea, magnesium, white noise and mouth tape, but i do remember a few weeks back simply falling asleep to silence. i think it was a saturday.

what makes your home feel like your home? the way my pup kato rushes to greet me when i open the door; the warm orange tinted beam from the skylight in the bathroom; my love, mik, yelling hello from upstairs. my coffee table that i found off of facebook marketplace that is really just an old oak library table with the legs cut down. my collection of cups and plates that do not match. honestly, the ‘clutter’ as some may say, makes it feel like home. i’ve always wished to be a minimalist, and while i’m definitely improving my collector ways, i am not one of those people to have a spotless home. maybe someday if i have a bit more space it will feel a little more put together and intentional. but for now, i’m coming to peace with the little and big things that make my space what it is.

what word do you find powerful or meaningful? gentle and unclouded

when was the last time you felt bliss? i feel bliss often in los angeles -- particularly as golden hour graces the hills or the ocean. summer has me emotional, and the light and water reflects that.

if you could say anything to anyone right now, what would it be? i would tell my mom thank you, and i love you.

what is something you wish younger you understood? your existence is not incorrect, and there is no need to hurry.

what song plays inside your head when you’re feeling down? honestly i don’t have just one — a strong rotation between death with dignity by sufjan stevens, luck of the draw by bella porter, anything by phoebe bridges or joni mitchell

the last stranger that made you smile. a little kid that asked to pet kato <3

if you could go back in time, would you? i think so. would depend on whether i could return.

savor kindness because cruelty is always possible later, yes or no? yes, always.

the pursuit of true love is never exhausting, yes or no? initially my response to this was yes, but upon further thought i would say no. i think the pursuit of true love is often exhausting, and also ultimately rewarding and very worth the energy. my not very hot take is that love takes a lot of work and time. parts of it may come very easily, and others not so much. i do think you should never have to pretend to be someone you’re not for true love.

pain is a signal, yes or no? yes. listen to your heart and body.

if you could have one smell on your hands forever, what would it be and why? i truly cannot put my finger on one. probably kato’s ears right after a bath, sea salt at sunset, or my mother’s perfume.

what is art? as an art major, i should have some poetic, specific or arcane answer. but truly i think art is anything that makes you feel, learn, or bring you into a different form of being than you were before.

how do you celebrate your birthday? i try to simply have the best day i can, whatever that means year to year. since my mom passed it has become a bittersweet day that has become sweeter and sweeter each year. i want to eat what i want, see loved ones, and dip in the ocean if possible.

heartbreak or loss smells like: vomit, bleach, and salt.

childhood smells like: green beans off the vine, brisket with deeply caramelized onions, tangerine peels, fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, ocean mist

what did you hate most as a child? sleeping away from home

if you had a child, what would you want them to know? i'd want them to know they are loved and to trust their heart

what dish would you make for someone you care for? my mom’s noodle kugel, with raisins always. or an elaborate cake with that person’s favorite flavors.

what article of clothing feels most like you? my first pair of vintage levi's i bought on a whim off etsy 3 days after my 21st birthday. they are softer than sweatpants and follow my body in all its fluctuations and forms. an item past me knew would hold future me, without expectation.

if you could speak to your 15-year-old self, what would you say? i would say your heart will break again and again. and you'll keep going.

what’s an act of humanity you witnessed that made you feel something? while it may be selfish to say this, my partner’s compassion and caring for me. i’ve been going through some health issues, and his unwavering support has made me feel so seen and loved. on that note, the other people in my life who have continued to check in. i feel as adults we often get so whisked away in our lives [myself included], and i find it really touching when people take the time to reach out and say hello.

what age do you never want to be again? 12-13

what color describes you? midnight

what color describes your first love? raspberry

what do you miss? my mom, every day

what is your favorite part of loving someone? the little pieces of them we continue to gather. and the people we get to know and love as one grows and changes.

what is the most important thing life has taught you? while you may be able to make it on your own, you do not have to. connection and community are gifts and resources.

what life do you hope parallel-life you is living? i hope parallel me is thriving in a coastal european town. i work in a small cafe a few times a week, and otherwise tend to the earth and have a small studio to create. i get to swim every day. i live within walking distance from my best friend.

what is a miracle? happy accidents, soulmate connections, dogs

what feels freeing to you? growing older

in what ways have you become more loving? i’m not sure if it applies but i’m no longer afraid of commitment. i’m also trying to write more letters and in general openly express my affection and care.

is there a song i should listen to today? best of my love by the emotions

when sadness makes its presence known, how do you greet it? i cry. a lot. sometimes i’ll go for a run until i break down. or push my body to its end with a hike or work out. and sometimes i make a pb+j and sit in bed because i can’t do anything else.

what do you see from your favorite window? my favorite window in our home is a little porthole window — the circular windows are why i fell in love with our place. to be honest, the view isn’t particularly spectacular, and but at the end of the day the sunset is so special. alternatively, for 8 months or so our neighbors had a blue tarp covering their roof which beamed cool light directly into our home, and the off kilter color balance drove me a little nuts. luckily the tarp has since graduated onto bigger and better things.

what did you learn from your grandmother? my mom’s mother taught me the value of kindness and joy, as well as a love for music and theater. my father’s mother taught me to never stop learning, and that honesty is always the best policy.

what’s an object you possess that is precious to you? anything that belonged to my mother, but specifically her wedding ring and kitchenaid stand mixer.

how do you show your love? often through words, i try to tell those i love how much they mean to me as much as i can. additionally little everyday gifts of a sweet treat, and ultimately just trying to be as emotionally available for them as i can be.

what was the last wish you made? the last wish i made was to live a long life in good health with those i love.

how do you know when you are in love? when my heart feels like a honeypot in the sun as i look in their eyes.

what do you find very overrated? trying to impress people, especially with material goods

what are your favorite kind of gifts to give? and to receive? i love to find niche, unique pieces second hand that feel like my loved one. alternatively, a baked good i know they love. sometimes i’ll buy a gift months in advance just because it is perfect. alternatively, as mentioned, i love to give and receive the small every day gifts. the little jar of jam someone gave me because they thought of me, a small bouquet of flowers — something my mom instilled in me. lastly, kisses, the best gift of all.

when was the last time you laughed so hard your stomach ached? it’s very silly, but i picked mik up from a round of golf and then drove him to burger king because he wanted it for dinner. he ordered an 8 piece and 12 piece of chicken fries. as he dug in, it became clear that these were not chicken fries but mozzarella sticks. 20 mozzarella sticks. why it was so funny i could not tell you.

biggest pet peeve -- people texting in movie theaters, blasting music on the trail [especially if hiking alone], folks who are rude to service workers, people who speak really loudly when it's unnecessary....can you tell i have misophonia?

what makes a perfect love song? nostalgia or excitement that makes me smile or want to throw up

what makes any day feel like a saturday? mondays are my saturdays, so i have some skill in this. i won’t set an alarm if i can help it. snuggle kato when i wake and then go for a nice hike. craft a really nice meal. go catch a movie if i can, maybe take a pilates class. bake something i feel inspired by. and ideally watching the sunset with a friend at capri club, martini in hand.

if you could go back in time, what time would you revisit in your life? i would definitely revisit my childhood, probably ages 3-6. i truly feel endlessly lucky to have the upbringing i did. and i would love to remember it more clearly.

finish this sentence: to be loved is __________ to be seen, heard, and held.

what doesn't scare you anymore? my queerness. it's taken me a long time to greet and be proud of it.

what ice cream flavor makes you feel like a kid again? vanilla carvel soft serve in a cup, fosters freeze chocolate soft serve in a cake cone, and ben + jerry's cherry garcia.

where do you go from here? to give myself more space and time to work towards what feels important, all while relishing everything i get to hold now. trying to move into more softness. enjoying the gifts of summer, namely ocean dips and stone fruit and berries.

after you answer these questions, what will you do today? give kato many kisses, go to the doctor, and probably pick up a piece of my favorite cake as a treat.